I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Monday, July 29, 2002


My Mafia Fantasy Death

Okay, I'll admit this is really stupid, but it happens to me nearly every day, so I thought I'd share. You know how on newer cars (and by newer, I mean it was made in, like, the past decade) you unlock the car with a button instead of a key? There's that little noise you hear once your car unlocks. Well every single time I hit that unlock, I have this mental image of my car blowing up and my body being blown back. I swear, every time. The problem with this is that while it's a pretty cool death, I realize it's fairly unreasonable. Why would the bomb go off once you hit the unlock button? Chances are, if you're like me, you probably have figured out the exact range of your keyless entry, and you hit it as soon as you enter it's sphere of influence. Surprisingly, mine is only about 17 short footsteps away. Therefore, the chances of the explosion actually killing me are fairly slim, and the Mafia (or whoever actually placed the bomb in my car) will be pretty embarrassed.

posted by Holz | 12:22 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (0)


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Right Now I'm Probably...
Lost, Heroes, 24, Criminal Minds
Brobdingnagian Bards
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
Final Fantasy XII
Running... hopefully
My Amazon.com Wish List
Comic Quote of the Week
"It's trying to end the suffering of everything. Do you want to discuss our options? Maybe together we can, you know, workshop?"

"Okay, best way to stop a ten-story godlike monster from destroying existence? I'm gonna go with hitting, you have anything?"

"You took mine."

Wesley and Angel, Angel: After The Fall #15

Who Am I?
Name: Holz
Home: Sonoma County, California
About Me: I'm a comfortador.
See my complete profile

Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely
Kicking ass for:
29 years
UWing Systems Design Specialist
Walking Theme:
Believe It Or Not by Joey Scarbury
Most watched movie:
The Princess Bride
Most read book:
The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King

Where Do I Go?
Blogs I Will Most Likely Steal Ideas From
The Past
Some of My Favorite Entries
"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
100 Bullets #42