I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Take It Like A Man!  

This past weekend, my roommate and I took our neighbor out for his birthday to see Lisa Lampanelli at the Punchline, along with another friend of ours. Before I detail the evening, let me try and describe the four of us:

Hawk: My roommate, and clearly Jewish
Action Jackson: The birthday boy, a 250lb+ ripped electrician with a bald head, huge goatee, and tattoos covering his arms. The dude stand out
The Joker: Probably the funniest guy I know, quick witted but non-descript
The Geek: And then there's me, with my ballcap and facial hair from the Civil War

If you've never seen LL before, there's a reason she's gotten the label as the Queen of Mean. She's basically a female Don Rickles, but without the PC censor. If racial stereotypes and coarse language grate you, or if you're easily offended, she's not the comic for you. But if you get some perverse pleasure out of getting ripped a new asshole, you're sure to have a good time. Thankfully, we all fell in this category. As we arrived and they asked if we'd like to sit up front, we gave a resounding "Yes!" So we took the closest table, stage left. We were a bit afraid this meant she we wouldn't be able to see some of her act, or we wouldn't be involved.

Thankfully we were wrong.

We had three opening acts, each of which were hilarious. The highlight was Lisa's main opening acts, Wendell, a flamboyant gay man who likes to interact with the audience as well. Being a table of four guys by ourselves, we were a prime target. And when I told him we were there for a birthday celebration? "Oh, please tell me it's the one with the tattoos!" Yeah, we were gonna get grilled. For the rest of his act, all of the gay leerings were pointed directly to our table. And we couldn't stop laughing...

So, then LL comes on, and within 30 seconds she begins berating our table. Lampanelli's routine is put into perspective quickly as within 5 minutes she has singled out the groups she'll be ripping into throughout the night. Action Jackson, previously the butt (pun intended) of all the gay jokes by the opener, quickly gets labeled as The Fag. Behind us, 2 black guys get singled out, and next to us, two tables of Hispanics get marked, with the lone guy of the group known as Hector for the rest of the night. Off to the right, LL finds the requisite Asian dude, as well as an elderly man to get yelled at. The stage is set... at least until about 10 minutes into the act, when she turns to our table again, and Hawk gets labeled as the Jew Bastard. For the rest of the evening, he and Action Jackson were the prime targets for vitriolic spouting. They couldn't get enough of it.

So for the rest of the evening, our table becomes the punching bag for every other joke, many times getting in on all the other bashings ("watch out blacks, your landlord's up here" as she points to Hawk). We were easily the loudest table in terms of appreciation, and while I'm not sure comedian's like that much laughing, we certainly had a great time. Towards the end, she finally made eye contact with me. Her lone comment? "You know, you kinda look like Larry the Cable Guy."

The night was easily one of the best comedy outings I had ever been to, hands down. We all left with our faces in pain from laughing so hard and so much. Where else can you go, get your bud roasted on his birthday by a professional, then as you're leaving have people give you high fives, and hear someone yell, "Hey look honey, it's the Jew Bastard! Way to go man!" in front of a crowd of strangers and get laughs? If you have a chance, check her out... and if you can take a joke, try and get to the front row, you won't be sorry.

posted by Holz | 11:35 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (8)


well then the new requiste quote for Holz is "lets git r done!"

By Blogger daveT, at 1/25/2006 4:17 AM  

That's awesome! I don't know if I'd want to be singled out like that, but still, very cool.

I saw her on the Pam Anderson roast. She's funny, but wow. Sometimes I wonder how comedians get away with saying things that would get the rest of us disowned by most of our friends and family.

By Blogger Kate, at 1/25/2006 7:06 AM  

Because comedy is saying what we're all thinking but afraid to say.

By Blogger Stan, at 1/25/2006 7:10 AM  

See, I think that's only partially right. I think comedy like LL (and in many ways Dave Chappelle) works because it shines a bright spotlight on stereotypes and highlights their absurdity. It's when audiences begin believing the joke that there's a problem.

I remember Dave Chapelle saying his reason for stoping production on his show was because some people on the audience were laughing too hard at certain racism jokes, or just at inappropriate times. Of course, that's always the possible problem of this type of humor

By Blogger Holz, at 1/25/2006 9:16 AM  

Very true, but there is a good portion of comedy that is speaking the unspeakable. Making fun of natural disasters is one example. making fun of man-made disasters is another. Who would have linked 9/11 with the song "It's Raining Men"? And yes, I got yelled at for saying that out loud less than a week after the tregedy.

By Blogger Stan, at 1/25/2006 9:28 AM  

Picking on the crowd is a good way to get laughs. This is a snipit from a post I made last Dec. 13th. I'm sure most if not all of you have read it before, but here goes anyway.

We went to HA! comedy club and my precognitive abilities were reaffirmed. You see, as I was getting dressed early in the morning, I thought to myself, "Dude, if you wear that Beaker shirt to a comedy club, they're gonna feed on you like hungry pirhannas." What did I do? I wore it anyway. There were 6 comedians at the club. Wouldn't you know that 2 of them picked up on the beaker thing. My favorite of the six was the guy who went into this long rendition about how much of a dork he was and how he played a lot of video games. He asked who else in the audience was a dork and even though I raised my hand, he didn't see me. All he saw was Kamin calling me out on it. Of course he starts busting on Kamin for pointing me out. Then he pauses and starts laughing. He proceeds to tell Kamin that he was doubting that I was a dork until he saw my shirt. Enter laughter from audience. Man, no matter where I go, I get made fun of. Maybe I'm just easy pickin's. Anyway, he went into this rant about how video games don't make kids violent. Then he said something like, "I grew up with video games and I'm fine. Of course that was Atari. All the games were made up of squares and rectangles. The worst that would happen was that I got really pissed off in Geometry. You F'ing rhombus! I Hate Rhombuses! Then I had Nintendo, and I was fine unless I went into a pet shop. I'd start stomping on all the turtles! Then I'd go to the grocery store. I'd burn all the mushrooms! But it was ok because I was an angry Italian Plumber." He was really funny.

By Blogger Stan, at 1/25/2006 9:36 AM  

Who would have linked 9/11 with the song "It's Raining Men"? And yes, I got yelled at for saying that out loud less than a week after the tregedy.

Let me guess.... sex discrimination because you didn't mention the chicks?

By Blogger Manchild, at 1/25/2006 10:23 AM  

Exactly! *wah wah wah* "Like women weren't jumping out of buildings too you sexist pig." *wah wah wah*

By Blogger Stan, at 1/25/2006 4:51 PM  

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The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
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Who Am I?
Name: Holz
Home: Sonoma County, California
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Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely
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UWing Systems Design Specialist
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
100 Bullets #42