I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

SOTU Term II: The Phantom Menace  

So, here we go, the first State of the Union of His Excellency Global Potentate GW Bush's second term. Just like the last year, and the year before, I'll be blogging my scatter brain thoughts. Nothing earth-shattering... but hey, something has to get me through this bullshit. I'll be watching CBS, for the possible (i.e. guaranteed) ramblings of Dan Rather. Remember to read in reverse order. And here's the transcript, just in case.

7:48 - Yay, finally fixed the problem...

7:25 - I know that I am biased, but shit, I swear the Democrats gave alot more ideas than the President did...

7:21 - Damnit, my font is acting screwy... this sucks... I blame the Democrats.

7:18- Damnit, let Nancy talk!!!

7:14 - Ha! A "birth tax"! That's awesome! Nice balance to the Repub's "death tax"

7:13 - Ugh, why the hell is Reid rambling on some stupid story?

7:12 - Glad to see Nancy Pelosi was chosen, she's becoming a shining light in the Democratic party... and I suppose seeing Harry Reid is understable. Even if he's not recognizable to the American people...

***AND NOW, THE DEMOCRATIC REPONSE***

7:02 - Hmph, good conclusion. I'll give Bush this, he certianly knows how to give a well-prepared speech. I may not agree with a bunch of his plans, but he's skilled at the oratory. Biggest surprise of the night? I don't think he mentioned the tsunami at all... did I miss it?

7:00 - Damn, that hug between the fallen soldier's mom and Safia was moving... Just... wow.

6:56 - The constant cutting to John Kerry depresses me... not because I 'm picturing him up there if Ohio went our way... no, I'm just thinking his speech would've probably been worse than this.

6:55 - I'll give the speech this: the moment with the human rights advocate Safia Taleb al-Sahil was pretty moving. Those of us against the war don't think this election was a bad thing... we just don't think it was the end all, be all.

6:50 - Did Republican members of COngress all finger Barney's asshole before the speech tonight?

6:48 - We're about to go to war with Syria? That doesn't sound right! Do they have brown people there?

6:46 - Cheney just caughed really hoarsely, and I swear I thought he was gonna have a heart attack right there.

6:44 - The Coalition of the Willing has morphed inot the Coalition That Will Defeat The Dangers of Our Time. A little bit more bulky, but man, it sounds like it has balls doesn't it! Kill Danger! Yeah!!!

6:40 - It's been half and hour, and now he gets to the War on Terror? I suppose it's not that important anymore. Hee, and after "tools for victory", they cut to Rumsfeld. That's just funny.

6:39 - Hmph, expanding DNA evidence funding, under the guise of "stopping wrongful imprisonment" and not "to track our criminal populace"... I know it's not very liberal of me, but I support this.

6:37 - Is anyone surprised that the AIDS act is named after a small child, and not a gay man? Yeah, me neither.

6:36 - A three-year plan to help out inner city kids stay out of gangs, that's awesome! Oh wait... this came immediately after the suporting faith-based groups, right? And wow, we're gonna have a librarian heading the program? How can it lose?!?

6:34 - Did Bush just seductivally wink at one of the Supreme Court judges?

6:32 - Wow, Bush actually said he supports the We Hate Fags constitutional proposal... paraphrased, of course. He must really get some pressure, 'cause he's been quiet since the election.

6:29 - Ha! He final mentioned voluntarily personal(PRIVATE!) account, and only half of the Republicans stood up. This isn't gonna happen... so y'know, I'm just gonna zone out until he's done talking about his "plan".

6:27 - I just realized I find Hastert's gold tie to be offensive. Didn't he get the red tie memo?

6:25 - Social Security... I've got four words for you. There. Is. No. Crisis. And telling the American people that the people who wrote the initial SS system didn't account for us living longer is not only a lie, it's idiotic. Hee, just heard the first booing...

6:21 - I think Bush's immigration policy he just laid out is basically "we need slaves, and Americans don't want to be slaves"

6:19 - Hahahaha... 'four years is enough debate on conservation and dependance on foreign oil'... yeah, I'm sure it's the Democrats who are hindering that. And don't give me that Alaskan Wildlife crap.

6:17 - Man, he is listing medical programs that even Democrats dont think can pass... this guy wants to curtail spending?

6:16 - Frivolous asbestos claims?!?! I'm in the insurance industry, and even I think there's no such thing as frivolous asbestos claims... now mold on the other hand.

6:14 - I cannot fucking beleive they are still propogating the lie that No Child Left Behind. And even worse, I can't beleieve the people are believing it. And this Pell grant shit is complete crap.

6:13 - Spending discipline (that doesn't include military spending)... Wlecome to the modern day conservatism.

6:12 - What will be the state of our children's union? Well, I imagine alot like my life is now. Incredibly debt-filled, and constant inquiries into one's sexuality. For the last time I like women!

6:10 - A free and soveirgn Iraq? You know, I'm ecstatic that the elections went off with minimal problems... but that's just funny. And not ha-ha funny.

6:06 - Just saw that idiot Bill Frist. This guy is a doctor in the same way I'm an actuary.

6:04 - He's running late so we get to hear some "previews" of the speech. The highlight that piques my interest is that he'll be saying we want privatized SS, but he won't address a single issue that needs to be answered. The obvious tag is too easy.

posted by Holz | 6:00 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (11)

11 Comments:

You can check out the full text at Daily Kos They also have word counts in the comments.

By Blogger Kate, at 2/02/2005 7:08 PM  


Holz - this is actually Edo. The last comment was not from Kate, it was from me. And it was unnecessary to boot. I apologize for polluting your comments.

By Blogger Edo, at 2/02/2005 7:10 PM  


Hee, is all good man, thanks for the heads up anyway

By Blogger Holz, at 2/02/2005 7:24 PM  


Haven't seen it or read it, but out of curiousity, how often did he mention Osama?

And was there a running check on how many friggin Standing Ovations he got?

By Blogger Manchild, at 2/03/2005 6:30 AM  


That would be a big no MC, not mentioned once. Probably because Social Security and voting in a torture supporter are more important than some silly war on terror

By Blogger Holz, at 2/03/2005 8:38 AM  


This might interest you guys. Let's you search for the occurrence of keywords in the all 5 of Bush's SOTUs.

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