I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Monday, July 26, 2004

Getting Highlights the Hard (but Cheap) Way  

Step 1:
Buy hair-dye for home use, and apply manually, most likely ending up with varying results that coworkers will have no problem pointing out to you.  Still, you already saved, what, 30 bucks right there?  TIP: be sure to look at both sides of the direction sheet.  If one side says you are to place hair dye into provided bucket and lather on manually by dipping one's hands into the solution, chances are that the other side recommends keeping it in the bottle.  I made the mistake of not looking.

Step 2:
Allow your hair to grow out for a period of 2-3 months.  In this time period you may get the urge to re-dye your roots, don't!  No matter what comments you get, no matter if you think you may be coming off "a little gay", don't!  Keep in mind, during this period, you're not getting your hair cut, so hell, you may be saving another $30 right there!  Note: this does not take into account purchasing of special conditioner for your sensitive scalp. 

Step 3:
Finally, go get your haircut, preferably from a classy place, like Supercuts, and from a stylist who's only English she knows is "How are you?" and "How you want hair cut?"  Tell here you want it cut down so there is approxiamately half an inch of dyed hair, and preferable styled in same way.  She will get half of the request correct, and end up giving you a Caeser with nice highlights.  Deal with it.

Congratulations, you have highlights!

posted by Holz | 1:01 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (6)

6 Comments:

Oh, that's rough. Can't wait to see the hair this weekend!

By Blogger Melissa, at 7/26/2004 2:03 PM  


Silly hippy child...

By Blogger Lushy, at 7/26/2004 4:45 PM  


You forgot "Step 0 : Remove all traces of your Y Chromosomes..."

By Blogger Manchild, at 7/27/2004 3:57 AM  


Jack-Ass.

Life is so much easier with a bag over one's head, you don't ever have to worry about your hair.

By Blogger Holz, at 7/27/2004 11:36 AM  


But how will it look with duct tape??

By Blogger bmh, at 7/27/2004 3:49 PM  


I repeat. At least you have hair.
-Stan

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7/28/2004 3:57 AM  


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AKA:
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Kicking ass for:
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UWing Systems Design Specialist
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
100 Bullets #42