I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Ten Tryptophan Induced Talking Points  

All back from my week-long vacation at home (no matter how long I'm out here in NorCal, Pennsylvania will always be considered home) and I gotta say I had a great time. Very relaxing, i.e. very lazy, and drama-free, always a plus for Thanksgiving with the 'rents. For a trip that lasted a week, it flew by, and I didn't get to see everybody I was hoping to, so mucho apologies to everyone I missed. Hey, you can always come out here for a quick visit to Sunny California (note, I said sunny, not warm... it's actually a bit colder here than back home). Anyway, I've been out of it for a while, so here's a few quick hits:

I Hunt. I Am a Hunter. - I got to go pheasant hunting with my dad for the first time in nearly a decade, and had a great time. Of course, the last time I went pheasant hunting, I nearly shot my dad's foot off, so really, anything's a plus. My pop let me use his kickass over-under shotgun, beautiful piece. I ended up getting a cockbird, and went halvies on another one. Funny thing, the morning we went was the morning the hunting/killing story broke... that was a little weird.

UseLess Air Sucks Balls - You would think being one of, if not the, biggest airlines in the country would be impressive, but man did I have sucky flights. The seats are thin, the headphones they give you fall apart in a second, and they have the nerve to air Around The World In 80 Days and call it entertainment. My flight back had The Manchurian Candidate, though, which was pretty good... except for the fact I had not one, but two little brats behind me kicking my chair for over 5 hours. At one point their parents even let one of them run up and down the hallway. I wanted to reach back and go Wayne Brady on her.

The Ultimate Gift For Two Sense - Circuit City has been airing ads for their new sunglasses/MP3 player combination, and they look fuckin' wicked. Check 'em out >here<. Now, the problem is, they're way to expensive for the amount of memory they give ya'. Hopefully, the price will come down as well as get some space added to it, because I can't wait to get my hands on a pair.

America is Scary (But Damn Funny, Too) - I just started reading The Daily Show's America: A History of Democracy Inaction, and I can't recommend it enough, it is quite possibly the funniest book I've ever read. When you crack up laughing at the *table of contents* of a book, you know you're in for a treat. Definitely a great gift idea.

People With Children Suck Ass - This is more of a preliminary blurb to a rant I have bottled up inside that is surely going to blow before the end of the year, but all the hubbub about the Monday Night Football / Desperate Housewives debacle has me wanting to puke. It's been reported that the FCC has received over 50,000 calls over the spot, and it's looking like ABC will eventually get fined for it. Can you believe this shit? You saw a woman's bare back. That. Was. It. Implied nudity... what is this country coming to? I saw a commercial, I think it was for crescent rolls, that used "experimentation in the bedroom" as a bit to sell food... ya' don't hear people in an uproar over that. grumblegrumble... more later.

Son of a Preacher Man - I've moved on to a new set of comic trades after finishing Transmetropolitan (now probably one of my favorite comic series), so I've decided to read Garth Ennis' opus Preacher. I'm two books in, and am enjoying it, more for the excellent art than for Ennis' burned-Catholic schoolboy plots. Not to say it's bad, in fact the commentary on evangelicals is even more potent today, but sometimes you can tell Ennis comes up with crap for shock value alone. Still, I'm engrossed, and will most likely pick up all the books.

Bowing Down To Tubey - For all those that don't follow TV religiously, you may not have known that all of November is what the industry dubs "sweeps", so all the big episodes are released before weeks upon weeks of reruns. Discounting reality shows - because shit, have they gone downhill - my favorites dished out some really good episodes. I'm ecstatic that Veronica Mars keeps on building an audience (and if you're still not watching, shame on you), and ABC's two giants, Lost and Desperate Housewives are delivering on the promise that the preliminary episodes gave. Hell, even Joan of Arcadia, which started the season off-kilter, gave one of the best episodes of TV of the season, with the death of Judith. But, I personally think the highlight show of sweeps was Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, with an amazing rape episode guest starring Billy Campbell and Shannon Sossyman, that left on a cliffhanger for the audience to decide on. If you missed it, keep an eye out for a rerun.

Not A Master Debater - One of the highlights of my visits was seeing my pal, K. I love her to death - even with her right wing beliefs :) - and more often than not, we keep politics out of our discussions, and this visit was no exception. Ah, but I made one fatal mistake... I forgot about her father. 20/20 came on while we were sitting around shooting the shit, and I make an aside comment aloud, "Christ, I hate that hack John Stossel." K's eyes go big, and she shakes her head, but it was too late... her pop is in another room, but he hears me and rushes in and confronts me on backing the claim. Now, I have my beliefs, mostly from readings... but the fact is, I have a helluva time defending them on the spot, simply because there's so many examples, I can't bring up any. It's really a problem with a majority of liberals actually, in that the problems are so factually pervasive and complicated, they can't be easily explained in black & white... at least by me. Anyway, my beliefs stem from alot of FAIR's reporting on Stossel's Give Me Break segments. Maybe I should read up on it before I fly back. Sometimes I hate not being a genius with a photographic memory.

Ken Jennings is a Dumbass - Hahaha, loser, you get to go home to your funless house with only 2.5 million dollars, you idiot. Man, you must feel like a complete dolt. Jeez, I think my retarded dogs got the Final Jeopardy question correct. You will be always be remembered as The Guy That Lost On Jeopardy... how will you live with that stigma for the rest of your life?

...hmmm... where's that sarcasm tag?

Thanks For Giving - Finally, just want to give a big thanks to 'rents for putting me up for a week... a trip to PA always ends of being probably the most relaxing week of the year. Oh, and the 42-inch plasma HDTV helped with the slothness week. The Thanksgiving dinner was absolutely phenomenal... Stef makes a damn tasty turkey. Seeing my sister was awesome... she's grown up to be stunningly beautiful... which makes her big brother scared. I'm a guy. I know guys. I don't trust guys. Oh, well.

posted by Holz | 1:45 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (7)


Good to see you man. Rock on

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/01/2004 6:50 PM  

Yeah, it was great to see you man. Too bad we couldn't hang out longer.

By Blogger Stan, at 12/02/2004 4:03 AM  

It was great having you and Amanda here!

Since you're now a "hunter", you should come with me to ND next year and hunt ducks! Much fun!

BTW...with the E-A-G-L-E-S going to the Superbowl this year, you should fly into PA for the party and watch it on the plasma! Sorry but the hot tub still won't be open yet!

Chris, Jason, Kate and Stan...you're each invited too!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/02/2004 4:23 AM  

Depending on scheduling, I just may take you up on that one. Thanks for the offer.

By Blogger Stan, at 12/02/2004 8:17 AM  

Hottub in the same room as the plasma... now THERE'S a cool idea. Add in some beer and snacks (plus the Birds whoopin up) and you've got yourself a good party.

Oh, and don't forget a Ricky Martin impersonator.

By Blogger k Man, at 12/02/2004 10:38 AM  

Go Eagles!!

Holz, I loved seeing you last week. I guess it has been a while since we discussed politics, because there's no way you can call me "right wing" anymore! Times have changed, the country has changed, and I've changed, too. It sickens me that our nation's politics has become so polarized by religious and moral values. Whatever happened to facts and reason? And while we're at it, basic human rights? It's the 21st century, and we have a self-proclaimed messianic president who is setting progress back by decades. So to sum it it up, Holz, I'm not "right wing."


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/02/2004 1:11 PM  

Oh, about my dad--don't feel too bad. We ALL have the same problem with him. He just has a way of reducing us to stuttering fools, and no one really knows why, since he bases many of his arguments on specific things that he experienced 10-20 years ago, or occasionally something he read on Foxnews.com (*cringe*). I guess he just has a commanding presence. And in his concept of the world, most of his ideas do make sense, which is why I shared a lot of them when I was younger. It's just that the real world isn't as black and white as he sees it.

But he's not entirely bad. He's not a bible thumper or an NRA member (and he did make us drinks that night). Next time just try to stick to neutral topics like music and movies. Or birdwatching.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12/02/2004 1:13 PM  

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Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
100 Bullets #42