I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Friday, February 03, 2006

I'm Not as Think As You Drunk I Am  

Fun times last weekend, as Friday, we celebrated both Night Nurse and Tin Pusher's birthday with an outing to Mary's Pizza, then followed up with a madcap hour-long scavenger hunt in which, being the sober one at the time, I got to drive around town while my team (I was lucky enough to get the birthday girls on my team) ran into places and basically begged and cajoled weird items from strangers. I did get to get one of the items myself, when the girls struck out three times in getting a condom from a stranger. So we went to the bowling alley, and there's a row of 8 guys at the bar drinking. Me?

"Guys, excuse me, I'm kinda in a bind, and I really need a condom, can anyone hook me up?"

Dude on the end was kind enough to not only provide one, but he went out to his car to get it... that's a guy for ya'... then, of course, one of my partners has to mention it's for a scavenger hunt... yeah, my level of cool (keep in mind I was with two chicks) dropped in front of these guy's eyes. Oh well. Anyway, after an hour, we have 37 out of 42 items, but with, like, literally 10 seconds before the deadline, the team who ended up winning arrived at the final destination with 40 out of 42. Of course, I'll ignore the fact they got an insane amount of help from someone who saw the list in advance... grr... A good time was had by all, especially as later in the night, my team won a close game of Scene It?. Still, the day I lose a game of Scene It? is the day I turn in my Geek-Card (it's laminated!).

Anyway, the next day was an excursion into San Fran for a night of drinking with a group of actuaries. The funny thing about the Jan/Feb time period is that actuaries use this time to get their last hurrahs out before hard-core studying begins. Man, do I not miss that. Anyway, my bud Old School put together an outing to The Dirty Martini with about 10 peeps, including his wife Ecstasy, The Baker, The Captain, Dancing Queen, Thanos, Cro-Mag, and Stretch.

Anyway, we get to the city and decide to walk around a bit... sadly, it's raining pretty hard, and continues to rain pretty consistently for a while. After downing a few drinks at a place down at the Wharf, we hit an In-N-Out (always good to soak up future alcohol consumption), then headed off to the bar. Great time, with some of the best martinis I'd ever had... of course, I hadn't really drunk many martinis before, so not much to compare to. I was partial to the Ghiradelli Chocolate martini, as well as the Cosmos... plus I head my first shot of Grey Goose vodka... trust me, it's worth the price, easily the smoothest I'd ever felt go down. The music there was pretty sweet, very old school flavored, and while I only got about 5 minutes of dancing in, it was pretty damn fun.

So, after racking up way to high of a bar tab after an hour and a half, we all filed into a limo Old School had wrangled while waiting for us to all leave the club. It turned out to be a $50 ride for like 6 blocks, but it was fun as we didn't have to all travel separately, plus, hey, it's a limo. We ended up at Bar None, which has been a favorite of ours for a while... and tonight it reclaimed the title, as in the back, I find nearly a dozen Beer Pong tables going. Fucking. Awesome. I haven't played Beer Pong (or Beirut to the sophisticates) in so long, and Stretch and I were able to team up and wipe the floor against... honestly, by this time I was so fucked up I can't even remember who we played... I do know that the next day I was told I was literally screaming every word at this point, so I was probably having a good time. Sadly, in about 40 minutes, one of our mates, Dancing Queen, was kicked out for a being too drunk, so we had to leave.

Next, we send DQ home, and after picking up three more people (who for the next hour and half I assumed were complete strangers, but turned out to be friends of Thanos) we headed to another favorite of ours, City Tavern, which has my favorite Long Island Iced Teas in the city. This time though, I was so far gone I decided against anything here, because honestly, I couldn't even remember how we got there. After going to the bathroom, returning to our table, and finding out the people there weren't even with me (I clearly remember looking at an Asian guy in glasses and saying "You're not with my group!"), I walked around and finally found them at a large table. The next hour was a blur of camera flashes, inappropriate touching, lying about names, and a general good time.

The final stop is pretty much my favorite stop at 2 in the morning, Pizza Pino, which someone has the best food that late at night... their Hawaiian is just awesome. Anyway, after that we were able to head back to the hotel we got for a group of us... no idea how that happened. There's a chance I may've even had a keycard... either way, I think I was conscious for about 5 minutes before passing out on the floor. Got yelled at an hour later to roll over b/c apparently I was snoring up a storm.

Next day, I easily had the worst hangover, but thankfully none of us threw up the entire time. I'll chalk that up to the nice base of vodka the beer laid on top of. The rest of the (beautiful!) day was uneventful, some lunch, some art galleries... all-in-all though, it was a great time... haven't had that much fun in the city in a really long time. Hopefully the pictures coming soon won't be too embarrassing.

posted by Holz | 11:20 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (2)


Oh boy...I can't to see them!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2/03/2006 12:16 PM  

Sounds like an awesome weekend! You seriously need to come party in Philly.

Grey Goose is one of my favorites. I usually order my cosmos with Grey Goose.

I do know that the next day I was told I was literally screaming every word
Ahhh... it's been a while since I've seen the Holz in such a state!

Dancing Queen, was kicked out for a being too drunk
Lol, been there, done that. Hope she doesn't feel too bad about it. It's a good story to have under your belt. Now she can always say "I was thrown out of a bar once." Not everyone can claim that.

By Blogger Kate, at 2/09/2006 8:44 PM  

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Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
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