|I Am John's Stomach Pains.|
On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
TomKat Revealed! So, after some discussion over at the Special K board, and the rumor going around about a 5-yr, No-Sex contract, I think I finally know what's going on with the Tom Cruise - Katie Holmes relationship.
Cruise is going into directing... but he's going all out. This is going to be a groundbreaking film. This is the next evolution of the documentary, as well as the celebreality shows ala Punk'd and Kaotic. And if there's anything I've learned from BushCo over the past 5 years, it's that there's nothing better than discussions on religion to cloud the real issue (just like communism, Scientology is a red herring).
Tom Cruise is going to film a 5 year relationship with Katie (but no sex of course, this isn't porn), a combination of home movies, as well as an entertainment magazine clips (picture how Outfoxed did it with clips from Fox News) and there's going to be three acts: the courtship/good times/first year, then the marriage of three years with all the ups and downs, then the final year detailing the brutal divorce. My thoughts on the teaser trailer (attached to the third Batman film, Batman: Knightfall, naturally):
YOU'VE LAUGHED WITH THEIR JOY (documentary shot from Oprah, or their wedding)
YOU'VE CRIED ALONG WITH THEIR PAIN (shot of Katie crying after a 'miscarriage')
YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR IT ALL (quick cameo of Tom crying on Nicole Kidman's shoulder after a car accident with paparazzi)
NOW... SEE IT ALL AGAIN... FOR THE FIRST TIME.
CELEBRITY: A CRUISUMENTARY
You heard it here first... summer 2010, y'all... put your $17.25 aside for your ticket today. posted by Holz | 5:16 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (4)
YOU REALLY THINK THEY HAVENT SLEPT TOGETHER?
Well, seeing as the kisses they share on the red carpet are more forced than the Gere-Foster one in Sommersby, that'd be a no...
Get your "Free Katie" t shirt yet?
"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."|
100 Bullets #42