I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Adventures in Cross-Dressing  

Despite what the AXE people would have you believe, smell is not the sense most tied to memory, at least not with me. With me, it's all about sound; specifically, music. Some would hazard a guess that I'd say television, but as anyone who's ever talked on the phone with me can say, if the TV is on, the odds are pretty good that I can't even tell you what's going on around me at that moment, let alone will I hearken back to it if I catch a rerun on cable. Nope, it's all about music. Yesterday, I experienced a nice bit of nostalgia while listening to the radio on the short drive home, the song "Stand". It's share time.

Stand in the place where you live
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven't before...

Without even realizing it, an embarrassed grin crosses my face, and it's the summer of '96. I'm sitting down on a bench, green-and-white painted boards of cracked, waterlogged wood beneath me; behind me, the sound of cheap wood planks being cut through with rusted saws older than the counselors watching the children; ahead of me, a makeshift asphalt basketball court, the battleground for many a game of Jail Dodgeball; and beside me on the bench, is my girlfriend Megan, and a small black Sony tape deck connected to a hundred-foot long orange extension cord.

The two of us are watching the kids pummel eachother with the Red Balls of Doom, when the aforementioned song comes on the radio. I don't know how it started, and any set-up I come up with will come off as sitcom-ish, but suffice to say, I made a comment that would come back to bite me on the ass the following day.

A futile argument begins over the authorship of the song. I am 100% sure that the song is by The B-52's. I wouldn't say that we came to shouting at eachother, but it came pretty close. In my mind, I can picture seeing the video with the band, and am amazed that she is not agreeing with me. Of course, being a die-hard fan of the actual performers, REM, Megan continues to berate me that I am completely wrong. In fact, she said, she has the album in her room at home, so just trust her on it. It is around this time, with my certainty beginning to dwindle by the second, that the word 'bet' is uttered by one of the campers.

And this is when I should've just admitted defeat. Why I didn't, I have no idea. But within a minute, the terms were settled. Sadly, I can't even remember what would've happened if I won... she probably agreed to something completely ludicrous, just because she could. I, on the other, agreed that if I lost, I'd have to wear one of her bras around camp the next day.

Cut to later that evening, and she's showing me proof; the actual album, the title, the writing credits, and finally playing the song. I slump over and sigh loudly, then walk over to her bureau. "Okay," I humbly push out, "which one am I wearing? It better be sexy..."

Now stand in the place where you work
Now face West
Think about the place where you live
Wonder why you haven't before

And I roll through the final stop sign on my way home, still with the stupid grin on my face. It wasn't the last time I lost a stupid bet... nor the last time I had to wear women's clothes. However, it was one of the few arguments my ex and I ever had (including the inevitable "final one"), and while some may find it strange, I actual cherish those few and far-between headbutts...


posted by Holz | 4:50 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (8)

8 Comments:

Ooh Ooh! I remember Megan. Now where's my cookie?

Yeah I have a picture of you and her at Prom '97. I had it on my Dresser Mirror for years before we moved. It was right next to the ones or Sam & Laurie (now married) Krista & me (now married) and Pam & Kamin (now married). Do you see a trend? Maybe you should look her up again. Just kidding. Later,
Stan

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8/26/2004 4:23 AM  


I definitely agree that music is more tied to memory for me as well. But Axe? Is awesome. Tom has it and it is incredible. Smell may very well be the sense most tied to...other things...

By Blogger Melissa, at 8/26/2004 10:33 AM  


"Maybe you should look her up again. Just kidding"

Oh yeah, I'll get right on that...

"But Axe? Is awesome. Tom has it and it is incredible. Smell may very well be the sense most tied to...other things"

You know, you may be right, Markl uses Axe, and we both know how well that worked out for him...

By Blogger Holz, at 8/26/2004 1:37 PM  


Just get a different flavor. That's part of what's so cool, the many different scents.

By Blogger Melissa, at 8/26/2004 2:18 PM  


I once made $20 in a bet with Sam Rensimer over Soundgarden lyrics from "Burden in my Hand". Something with the line... "cut your mouth" and something "alcohol". It was sweet. Actually, I owed Sam $16, so I only made net $4 and I bought 20 nuggets with it. Those were the sweetest nuggests I ever had.

By Blogger k Man, at 8/29/2004 11:37 AM  


I once made $20 in a bet with Sam Rensimer over Soundgarden lyrics from "Burden in my Hand". Something with the line... "cut your mouth" and something "alcohol". It was sweet. Actually, I owed Sam $16, so I only made net $4 and I bought 20 nuggets with it. Those were the sweetest nuggests I ever had.

By Blogger k Man, at 8/29/2004 11:39 AM  


Chris Cornell is awesome!
-Stan the intelligent

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8/31/2004 7:16 AM  


Looks like I'm a year and a half late to this party, but in a fit of narcissism I googled my name and wound up here. In 2004...

And I think I remember that bet with Kamin! I think I may have even recouped some of my losses by having one of those McNuggets (unless I'm just stringing random memories together now; entirely possible).

Anyway, 'sup John. Been a while, hope you're doing well. :)

~s

By Anonymous Sam, at 3/27/2006 6:12 PM  


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Right Now I'm Probably...
Watching:
Lost, Heroes, 24, Criminal Minds
Listening:
Brobdingnagian Bards
Reading:
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
Playing:
Final Fantasy XII
Eating:
Healthy...er
Doing:
Running... hopefully
Wishing:
My Amazon.com Wish List
Comic Quote of the Week
"It's trying to end the suffering of everything. Do you want to discuss our options? Maybe together we can, you know, workshop?"

"Okay, best way to stop a ten-story godlike monster from destroying existence? I'm gonna go with hitting, you have anything?"

"You took mine."


Wesley and Angel, Angel: After The Fall #15



Who Am I?
Name: Holz
Home: Sonoma County, California
About Me: I'm a comfortador.
See my complete profile

AKA:
Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely
Kicking ass for:
29 years
Job:
UWing Systems Design Specialist
Walking Theme:
Believe It Or Not by Joey Scarbury
Most watched movie:
The Princess Bride
Most read book:
The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King


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Blogs I Will Most Likely Steal Ideas From
The Past
Some of My Favorite Entries
"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
100 Bullets #42