I Am John's Stomach Pains.

On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Nothing Is As Sobering...  

...Or Quite Frankly Depressing, As Looking Out On L.A. In The Rain.

Had an awesome time down in So Cal, and I wanna give a big shout out to all my buds who made it a fun time... even with the Old Testament levels of rain that we had to deal with. Honestly, I have never seen such a torrential downpour my entire time out here on the left coast. Just insane. Anyway, onto the highlights of the trip.

Hi, I'm John - Me, Lushy, Hudson, bmh, my bud BS from college, and another couple K&D, all went out for some good beer and then caught Constantine on Friday night. I really liked the flick, it had a cool eerie feel that reminded me of The Exorcist and Stigmata, plus I'll see nearly anything with Keanu in it (like Affleck, I think he doesn't get the respect he deserves). The overall feeling of the group was average, no one hated it, but no one loved it either. I'd recommend it, solely for the cool Lou character. Also, be sure to stay til' after the credits.

Who Needs Sleep - I thought my sleep schedule was f'd up... but I don't hold a candle to BS. With his job, he works from home, so he's the perennial nightowl, and he definitely rubbed off on me. After the movie, we had some tutorials in Hold 'Em and Stud with the gals (Lushy passed out immediately, the wuss), and combined with some high proof horrendous Belgian beer (thanks B!), I was literally dealing cards in between 20 second power naps. Then, on Sunday, we did it again, watching Jason X (absolutely hilarious, loved it!) and The Grudge (in a word: meh). Lemme just say, 5am is awesome!

Are You Offended By Lesbian Porn? - Before we headed out to a casino in the evening, we realized we had to at least give Lushy a primer since he slept through the previous evenings teachings. Of course, since it was only us guys, Lushy found it imperative to have lesbian porn playing on the background. While in a hand, the door knocked, and Bren arrived. The first thing Tom says to her as she walks through the door? Yep, you guessed it. Her response was a classic, *beat*, "It's fine", then she takes a step in, turns to the screen, and gives a high-pitched "Oh." Simply priceless.

I Fucking Hate This Game - That was my response after playing about 45 minutes of $2-$4 7-Card Stud at the Commerce Casino. The place was just huge, and the signup sheet for Hold 'Em was intimidating (it shouldn't have been), so BS convinced us to give Stud a try, a game he enjoys much more. Anyway, I was the last one to get a table, and after 10 minutes, I knew the game wasn't for me... it is completely different from Hold 'Em, and all the books I've read on it amounted to jack shit at the table. While I was the last to get a table, I was the first to get wiped out... so afterwards, I decided to play some Hold 'Em (which I did poorly in for numerous reasons, including having to play shorthanded at a Pai Gow table (bad on the back), playing with an entire group who knew eachother, and also that it was already past 1am. The coolest thing of the night though was that the WPT was filming upstairs, and we got to see such players like Gus Hansen, Dan Harrington, and Sammy Farha, so that was awesome. Props go to Bren, as she never had to rebuy, and she lasted longer than any of us at the tables... she'll be a card shark in no time!

You Mother Fucking Cock-Sucking Sonuvabitch, Fuck You, You Fucking Dick! - While I'm known for my road rage on occasion, this is nothin compared to the rants I exude during a video game... it's one of the reasons I don't play often. Still, when the chance to play the new Madden 2005 with my buds, I was game. And so, I must apologize to BS and Lushy, not to mention Hudson who arrived halfway through our game, and was exposed to my drunken sailor with a stubbed toe diatribes. I could blame it on the fact that we had just gotten done watching the entire Tenacious D collection, but that would just be the tip of the iceberg of the words that came out of my mouth during that game. Please believe me guys... it's all in good fun, I don't really wish you'd die from being anally raped by a PS2 controller.

Economy Parking? Bullshit! - I don't usually drive myself to the airport, because that's what friends are for. But, seeing as my flight was at 6am on Friday, I knew I'd have a helluva time getting a pickup, so I decided to try Economy Parking, not really looking at the rate boards... I simply assumed it'd be about ten bucks a day since it was a way away from Oakland airport, and a bus was needed... surprise surprise to find out my parking bill was $76. I didn't even have the kinda cash on me... thankfully (yeah right), they did take credit cards... ugh, thank God I have friends for future trips.

BTW, the title of this entry is from a fairly obscure (but recent) song, I imagine MC Hairtrigger would be the only one who'd have a chance at getting it.

/editing for proper quoting, thanks Lushy

posted by Holz | 2:15 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (9)


I don't know what John's talking about. I don't even like adult movies.

By the way, the line was, "Are you offended by lesbian porn?" The best part of her reaction after the "oh" was, "I should have known by the music..."

By Blogger Lushy, at 2/22/2005 3:02 PM  

Don't own it, but yeah, got it. The only buffy related cd I have is Once More With Feeling.

By Blogger Manchild, at 2/22/2005 3:06 PM  

Lushy is right. The porn is totally mine. Sorry, I thought that I had done a better job of hiding it from him.

By Blogger Melissa, at 2/22/2005 3:24 PM  

Such a keeper she is :-)

By Blogger Lushy, at 2/22/2005 3:33 PM  

No reason to feel ashamed... I've seen more graphic acts in shampoo commercials :-)

By Blogger Holz, at 2/22/2005 3:46 PM  

I didn't know Spice had commercials!

By Blogger Lushy, at 2/22/2005 3:54 PM  

I thought you were holding back on the swearing . . . we could use more of it next time :) There's nothing like video games for a truly cathartic experience.

By the way, the initials are "BWS" and not "BS," for obvious reasons.

What a fuckin' blast! Thanks to everyone!

By Anonymous Brian W. Sharma, at 2/22/2005 11:27 PM  

For the record, I didn't rub anything off on Holz.

By Anonymous Brian W. Sharma, at 2/22/2005 11:30 PM  

...it's one of the reasons I don't play often.Could it also be due to your tendency to break bones during video games?

By Blogger Kate, at 2/23/2005 7:09 AM  

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Name: Holz
Home: Sonoma County, California
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Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."
100 Bullets #42