On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering
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| I Am John's Stomach Pains. On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering |
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008 Movies of 2007: More Than Just Threequels Okay, very late, but thought I'd put together my list of best and worst of the year at the cineplex. Looks like I saw 39 of last year's releases, and while sadly there was no 5-Star worthy flick in my opinion, there were plenty of great movies to flesh out a top ten list. Of the 39, I gave 15 either a 4 or 4.5 outta 5... now whether that means my star rating is meaningless, I don't know, but I will say I did enjoy almost all my visits to the theater, especially the new theater in our hometown that has digital projectors... simply beautiful. Just missed the list: Knocked Up, Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer, 1408, Disturbia, and Zodiac. Honorable mentions go to Disturbia, Harry Potter V, and Mr. Brooks. My Ten Favorite of the Year (okay, 12) 10) Grindhouse - Maybe it was the fact I caught it at midnight with a crowd that totally understood what the purpose of the flick was, but I just absolutely loved it. I still like Planet Terror a bit more, for sheer absurdity and grotesque reasons, but I will say that Deathproof grew on me upon second viewing, mostly for the entire second half though... I still find the first group of girls and their Tarantino dialogue annoying. Sucks it didn't do better in the theater, but in this ADD-culture, not a surprise two D-movies back-to-back (especially without nudity) would fall on its face. 9) Hot Fuzz - I've never been a huge British-humor fan, but like I said at the time, this was the best action-comedy I'd seen since True Lies. It wasn't simply a parody of the action movies of the 80s, it was a heartfelt and hilarious homage (marvel at the alliteration!) to all of those flicks. The ending is so over the top, it becomes a live-action Loony Toons cartoon, that if I remember correctly, is perfect for the sheer lack of death, it's all just destruction. And the Point Break love is just icing on the cake. 8) Live Free or Die Hard / The Bourne Ultimatum - Can't really split these up. Both were action-packed romps that starred just unbelievable cartoon-y heroes. Honestly, anyone who says Bourne is realistic is fooling themselves, the guy is the ultimate comic book character. Same goes for John McClane, who used to be the "Everyman" character but has since then become Wolverine-like unstoppable juggernaut. That being said, who the hell needs realism when you're watching a live-action video game. Stunning effects, great action, great humor, just an overall damn good time (if you don't mind the occasional motion sickness creeping up). 7) Breach - Missing on almost all top ten lists, this was a real acting tour de force, on both sides of the hunt, that still sticks with me. Honestly, we all know that Chris Cooper is a helluva actor, but who coulda guessed Ryan Phillipe could hold his own with a great. This is both a great thriller (there were times I remember holding my breath for a full minute), as well as a great subtle drama centering just why an American hero, a family man, would sell our his own country. 6) Juno - Just saw this last week, and it makes the list, for the sheer joy of experiencing such a refreshing, adult comedy. Every actor is pitch perfect, the dialogue seems flawless, the humor both subtle at times and gut-bustingly funny, and to top it all off, it has the best soundtrack I've experienced since Garden State. I don't know why I've fallen in love with Kimya Dawson's music so much over the past week, but I have. 5) Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End - Despite the naysayers, this one was easily my favorite threequel of the year, with the biggest ending, coolest effects, and really the best character in Captain Jack Sparrow. Wish they had used Chow Yun Fat more, but I just remember leaving the theater with a big grin on my face (and this is coming from someone who wasn't a huge lover of the first one) 4) 300 - Visual spectacular. Great heroes. Great villains. Violence the way violence should be, brutal and bloody. I remember being in awe of what Frank Miller did with the graphic novel years ago, and to see some of the panels and dialogue created verbatim was a joy as a comic book fanboy. 3) Superbad - The second Michael Cera flick on the list, and it's not a surprise, as the guy is a comic genius. Him and Joanh Hill make the best comedy duo since Jay & Silent Bob. I hope I never outgrow the teenage sex comedies, they are the ones that I always want to watch again immediately. 2) Stardust - This was hard, because I almost put this as number one. It's been a long time since I've seen a flick to rival my love of The Princess Bride, and I should've guessed it'd be Neil Gaiman to get me to love the fairy tale romance again. Other than the fact I didn't really connect with the main lead (more because I don't think I'd ever seen him before), I can't remember a single thing wrong with the flick. It's funny, it's sweet, it's exciting, it's visually fun, it's got great action, great romance, and it's just a really fun time. Amazed more people didn't love this one. 1) Transformers - Being the child of the 80s that I am, I'd been waiting for this movie from the initial teaser, and it didn't disappoint me at all. My feeling can be summed up form my initial review: "CGI? Flawless. Voice acting? Peter Cullen is a God. Live action acting? I trust in Spielberg that Shia is The Shia-t. Eye Candy? Don't think I've seen better anyone better than Megan Fox in that department lately. Story? Honestly, who fucking cares when you have 100ft robots duking it out?!?" I didn't think any movie would come close for the rest of the year for sheer enjoyment, and it didn't. Transformers is the reason I still go to the movies. Big. Fast. Loud. Love it. Worst of the Year 5) National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets - Honestly, it's not that bad. If you see it, chances are you'll have a good time. But wow, is it completely unbelievable. And I'm not talking cartoon-y unbelievable like Bourne or Die Hard, I'm talking "oh you've gotta be shitting me" contrivances throughout. This flick is the definition of disposable. I can't imagine anyone buying this to put in their collection, saying "hey, let's watch Book of Secrets again". The veritable Bazooka gum of action movies... 4) Blades of Glory - Just more annoying than anyhting else. I'm pretty much through with Jon Heder as an actor, and Will Ferrell's "I'm Shouting So It Must Be Funny" style of comedy. And like I said before, Dodgeball did this joke better. 3) Wild Hogs - Just... how sad is it that this almost made it into the top ten grossing flicks of the year... if it wasn't for I Am Legend, it would've made it. This movie is how studios make a film. They throw together actors who can't carry a movie of their own anymore, have a semblance of a following, and write an outline that passes for a story, and unleash it on the masses. And we gobble it up, don't we? Let me just say the only reason I caught this flick was that it was on a plane, and I already had earphones. 2) Perfect Stranger - Very bad movie, from an actress who continues to disappoint. Honestly, Halle Berry has an Oscar, how? Okay, I'll admit, I've never seen Monster's Ball, but this flick just adds to the dreck. The character are completely unlikable, and our "heroine" is the worst of the bunch. And the ending is simply horrid. Not because I didn't like it, but because it doesn't add to the movie at all, other than to say "wow, that was stupid". 1) Ghost Rider - Very rarely is there a movie that I can't enjoy on some level; especially when it comes to comic book flicks. I'm the guy who loves Fantastic Four. I find Ben Affleck to be the perfect Daredevil. Hell, even Batman & Robin can be enjoyed for the so-bad-its-good factor. But this movie is just horrid. Horrible casting. Horrible dialogue. Horrible villains. Horrible stunts. Horrible drama. Horrible humor. The only redeeming factor, and the only reason it rises to half a star instead of zero, is the design of the motorcycle and ghost-horse. That's it... even the flaming skull is unimposing, and for a character design who I still marvel at sometimes in the books, that's just pathetic. Avoid at all costs if you still can. Labels: movies posted by Holz | 1:51 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (3)3 Comments:
Ghostrider was perhaps the most vile thing put on film last year. And I watched it at home on HBO.
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300 was great, and I was underwhelmed by Pirates of the Caribbean. Transformers was okay. And the rest I haven't seen. I am a snob about movies, and a loser too
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Vote on Tuesday! You have a voice in California, Pennsylvania doesn't count. I am sure you are being besieged by political ads. (Unless you fast forward past them)
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole." 100 Bullets #42 | |||||
