Vigil
I'm standing inside the memorial to JFK right now. I'm simply amazed at how much being here is affecting me. A man who was cut down more than 15 years before I was even born, and I can almost feel a physical weight on my shoulders as I pace around the obsidian block in the center of floating pillars. Just walking here from my hotel, I became overcome.
Don't want to get all melodramatic, but I actually teared up as I approached, both seeking out the location with an almost sixth sense, as well as trying to almost avoid it with a seventh.
But I'm here... And I don't want to forget this feeling its feeding into me. Sadness, mixed with anger mixed with fear mixed with hope. Its a strange sensation, and for someone who likes to joke that he's DeadInside... Ultimately reassuring.
Never forget this.
...5 minutes later and I'm sitting on a hill, 10 yds away from where the second shot hit. The only way I know is a man selling Zapruder films behind me. I both hate him and thank him at the same time. The only mention of the importance of the place is a small plaque that mentions the area has historic significance, but nothing else. A spray painted X is in the middle lane, slightly to the right. I'm preparing to go stand on the spot, if for one second, but have yet to do it.
I had been nearly sprinting to get here, with each step, actually getting short of breath. Now that I'm her, I just feel tired. I want to lay down. I wish my mom was here. She'd know exactly how I'm feeling. I wish Kristine was here, in an almost selfish way, this is an experience I think could bring us closer. wish everyone I knew was here... its so strange being here, surrounded by my fellow tourists.
I know I'm not the first person to have the thoughts. I won't be the last. I'm not a religious man, I'm not spiritual at all, but in this moment, I c an feel... maybe not his presence, but his ghost, his mark he left on his generation, and those that followed.
Watching: Lost, Heroes, 24, Criminal Minds Listening: Brobdingnagian Bards Reading: The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman Playing: Final Fantasy XII Eating: Healthy...er Doing: Running... hopefully Wishing:
Comic Quote of the Week
"It's trying to end the suffering of everything. Do you want to discuss our options? Maybe together we can, you know, workshop?"
"Okay, best way to stop a ten-story godlike monster from destroying existence? I'm gonna go with hitting, you have anything?"
"You took mine."
Wesley and Angel, Angel: After The Fall #15
Who Am I?
Name: Holz Home: Sonoma County, California About Me: I'm a comfortador. See my complete profile
AKA: Ozymandias, DrOzymandias, Darth Angelus, Darque Feonix, Trip McNeely Kicking ass for: 29 years Job: UWing Systems Design Specialist Walking Theme: Believe It Or Not by Joey Scarbury Most watched movie: The Princess Bride Most read book: The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King
"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole." 100 Bullets #42
