On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering
|
|
|
| I Am John's Stomach Pains. On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering |
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, December 23, 2008 More Things to Keep Me From Blogging I just opened up a Twitter account to go along with this here blog and my Facebook page. Two more areas on the interwebs that I'll likely have fun with with a certain amount of time and care, and then abandon because I'm lazy. Still, it's about time I got on Twitter, if only so I can reply to wilw on occassion. My MySpace page has officially been left on life support. Good riddance. Only good thing MySpace ever did was introduce me to Jonathan Coulton. Speaking of, Merry X-Mas, from Chiron Beta Prime. Labels: holz on the internets posted by Holz | 3:24 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (21)Tuesday, September 04, 2007 The ABC's of My Summer Hiatus While I have put in the occasional entry, this summer has been fairly light in regards to my blogging, and Kris has recommended me putting in another alphabet entry similar to the one I put in a year ago. So here goes... warning, could be alot of movies and comic book discussion... gotta love the summer TV hiatus... Annihilation: Conquest - I haven't done too much comic book reviewing lately, but I gotta say the sequel to last year's surprise sci-fi event is already surpassing the original. Consider this the Godfather II of comics... unless of course you're like me and have never seen the Godfather flicks... then consider it The Empire Strikes Back of comics. Just as the universe is calming down after the horrendous Annihilation War that decimated the Skrull homeworld, the Kree are attacked by The Phalanx and conquered in just a few hours. Nova has become more than a second-rate Green Lantern, the new Quasar is bringing renewed life to two second-tier female characters (plus the lesbian relationship is being handled well), and in Starlord we get a walking tree and the return of Rocket Raccoon! Add in the fact this is an awesome story that utilizes the Borg-knockoffs to the ultimate extreme (for those who loved The Phalanx Convenant from the 90s, it's a cool return to the scary villains), honestly the best comics of the year. Bourne Ultimatum - Although I think I dig At World's End more from a three-quel standpoint, Bourne brings the goods with a non-stop action flick that is *almost* as good as Casino Royale. Blame it on the fact the romantic lead here is snaggle-toothed Julia Styles. Greengrass somehow tops the action and chase scenes from the previous flicks with an intense foot-race that puts the chase in M:I3 to shame. The only complaint I have is that it was almost too intense... I literally left the theater with a headache from the over-use of shaky-cam. 4 out 5 stars Countdown - The last time I did the alphabet thing, I glowed over the weekly comic 52 that DC was putting out. Here I come not to praise the weekly comic, but to bury it. Wow is this comic shitty. Stupid characters, incoherent action (sorry, I can't pick up 19 other comics to understand what's going on off-panel), and an over-reliance on knowledge of Kirby's Fourth World. Yeah, I understand there are some that have a love for that stuff, but there's a reason anything that involves those characters (sans Darkseid) always fails. It's because those characters suck balls. I'll be dropping this within the next few weeks if something, anything, cool doesn't happen. D'oh! - Caught The Simpsons Movie a few weeks ago, and overall enjoyed it, of course. Laughs were quite constant, and the "full frontal Bart" scene had me cracking up... the way they blocked it all up to the point of exposure was hilarious. Best line of the flick goes to, of course, Ralph, with the still-makes-me-laugh "I like men now". Definitely a good rental, but I don't think we need a sequel anytime soon. 3 out of 5 Stars. Emo Hair -  My hair is getting a bit long at the moment, and I'm currently working an Emo mop-top with my hair brushed forward. Probably stems from watching a My Chemical Romance concert on HD this past weekend. On the one hand, it works for my cowlick as it weighs it down, and it's really easy to set up in the morning. But on the other hand... well, Night Nurse hates it. So I imagine I'll be cutting it off soon. Fantasy Football - (that's a double in Scattegories!) Yes, it's that time again. I'm involved in two leagues this year, one of which I'm commissioner. I'm happy with both my teams at the moment, even though I was on the bottom rung in the draft order in both. Got Peyton in one, and a Maroney/Alexander double-team for RBs in another. Only crossover in both leagues? My boy Wes Welker, who absolutely dominated last year because of fluke in return yardage points, and newbie Jerious Norwood, who I'm thinking is gonna be a dark horse this season... I'm predicting Warrick Dunn is gonna get shelved by week 4. Good Luck, L.T. - This happened a while ago, but I had to mention the celebrity golf tournament Night Nurse, Robin Hood, Blondberry and I went to a few months ago up in Tahoe. This was my first time at a live golf game, and I wasn't sure what to expect, but I gotta say it was a really fun time. We walked around to half the course or so, then settled on (I think) the 17th hole as most of the celebrities passed by. Some of the coolest moments? From a golf standpoint: seeing Al Michaels sink an amazing 50 ft chip shot for par was awesome. From a never thought I'd see it standpoint: John Elway throwing a pass caught by a stogie-smoking Lawrence Taylor as they walked past us. And from an OMG-HE-ACKNOWLEDGED-ME standpoint: getting within 2 feet of Michael Jordan and Ladainian Tomlinson, and as they pass, giving a "Good Luck, L.T.", and he responded with a "Thanks". I don't know why, but that just made my day. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Really should do an entry by itself on this, but I just don't think I'll get around to it. Anyway, Night Nurse and I were part of the crowd that bought our books at midnight, and thanks to her we were out of there by 12:05 with the book. The drive home consisted of me reading the first 4 or 5 pages to her. I crashed around 1:30, but Kris pushed on to 4am or so, finishing the book the next night. As a finale to a truly amazing series, it was perfect: great character work, some surprisingly emotional deaths, a final action scene that did the magic war justice, and an epilogue that - while a tad sappy - is really the best way to've ended it (I say this because I predicted the flash-forward epilogue months ago). I'm not ashamed to admit that JK actually had me tearing up at one point, as Harry is undergoing his Death Walk in the forest... damn that was great writing. The book had some surprising redemption themes that resonated well. Kreacher obviously comes off much better, Draco improves - slightly - and while I wish it was Lucius who inspected Harry towards the end instead of Draco's mother, the entire Malfoy clan turns out to have some heart. Probably more later, but I'll end this by saying the book lived up to and exceeded all my expectations... and somehow washed the poor taste The Dark Tower left in my mouth a few years ago. iPhone - Still loving it, but also still annoyed at the volume for both the regular phone call, as well as a call on speaker phone. My old phone, on speaker could be heard rooms away. The iPhone speaker can barely be heard sometimes when it's literally in the palm of my hand. Which makes no sense really, because I can play iPod songs and YouTube videos at a fairly high volume through the speaker without any problems. Anyway, aside from that, I love having my personal email back (for those who don't know, my email has changed from Drozy... just highlight the HOLZ at the bottom of this post and you'll find my new one). The YouTube videos work really well when a Wi-Fi is accessible, but that's really the only time I'd recommend using it. Also, for anyone who was worried about the battery life, I've had absolutely no trouble. At the end of the day, it almost looks like I still have a near full charge. Jeffrey & James (Donovan & Roday) - Yeah, it's a cheat, but I gotta talk about two of USA's summer programming, Burn Notice and Psych. First, I've been a fan of Jeffrey Donovan since his early Pretender appearances, and then became a huge fan when his short-lived - but awesome - Touching Evil was on the air. Combine him with cult-fav Bruce Campbell and still-uber-hottie Gabrielle Anwar, and it was a given I'd become addicted to this show. It's a great blend of the action-comedy, almost with a MacGuyver-like feel. On a similar vein, the procedural-comedy blend of Psych has easily been the funniest thing on TV this summer. The chemistry of Roday and Dule Hill rivals my appreciation for Spader/Shatner during the regular TV season. The one liners thrown throughout each episode often has Kris asking from upstairs just-what-is-so-funny. I'll tell what... both these shows. Kristine: Wedding Planner - Last time I did the ABCs, I said wedding bells weren't in my future... cut to a year later, and obviously that's changed. As we come to the end of the summer, our wedding is 11 months away... but Kris being the amazing bride-zilla she is (and I mean that in the nicest way), it's nearly all done. I swear she's finalized everything aside from the clothes. She's busy hand making the invitations and response cards; our save dates arrived yesterday and will be going out in November; addresses have been gotten for all but 4 people, and that's because I, myself, haven't gotten those last one's yet; ceremony/reception has been finalized; and the cake's been designed and ordered. She's a wedding machine. Lisa Lampinelli - This is more of advance hype entry, but I'm so excited to see LL on the 21st with Kris... hope she can appreciate the humor. I doubt that our viewing, which was an awesome birthday gift from the Outlaws, is going to live up to the experience from the Punchline, but I'm sure it's going to be hilarious. Mafia - Taking a cue from Stan, I've been playing in some online games called Mafia. It's basically Murder In The Dark, if you ever played that in school/camp, but it's done in an online discussion forum over a few days. Sadly, I was killed nearly immediately in the first one by the mafia (my character was a Judge, so I had fun trying to 'be fair'), and the second one I was strung up by the townspeople immediately basically because I got investigated the first night and got unlucky (in that one I was Boba Fett, and I just got singled out immediately before I could even do anything... oh well). Still the game is pretty interesting, and it's cool to be able to be involved in some type of strategic online game that doesn't involve me spending hundreds of hours building up characters. Nutrisystem - So two weeks in on my diet, and I'm down 16 pounds. Yep, my second week goal of 6 pounds was exceeded, as I stepped on the scale Labor Day morning and read 226.6, capping a 9 lb week loss with a 7 lb week loss. Just awesome. I'm definitely noticing a difference, as my belly doesn't have that squishy feeling anymore. I mean, I'm still way overweight, but it's a nice start. I'm starting to feel better, my stomach has more good days than bad days, and even when I cheat, or "go off-plan" as the forum boys dub it, I'm learning to control the intake. I've said it before, I really see this plan as honest-to-God lifestyle change, that after two weeks, I really think will stick with me. Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the - Still have yet to see this on IMAX, but the regular version was awesome, and certainly exceeded my expectations after the very talky-book. The final action scene was everything and more I expected out of a true magical battle, and for the first time, you can really see Daniel Radcliffe coming into his own as an actor. True standout of the show though was Imelda Staunton as Dolores Umbridge. A character that had the possibility of coming off cartoon-y over-the-top was brought to life as one of the coolest villains in years. There were a few problems with the movie though... it is over way too quick. For the longest book in the series, the movie skims over so much, at times it feels like a rush to get to the end, and some of the tension is lost. Also, the supporting cast has very little to do this go-around. Maggie Smith is relegated to a single - still awesome - scene, and while I understand Dumbledore is supposed to be in the background this time, it was depressing not getting more Michael Gambon. 3.5 out of 5 Stars. Password - Kris and I have a near weekly game of Password we play with the Outlaws, and while the game initially started with the couple of 40+ years together kicking our butt, in recent weeks Night Nurse and I have won our fair share of heads up matches. It's a fun game that really works best when you are teamed up with someone with similar experiences you can call on. Quick(sand) and Dirty - I've been wary to discuss my softball season this summer, mainly because I didn't want to jinx anything. Sadly it was all for naught, as for the third season in a row, Quick & Dirty entered the playoffs in first place, with a 9-1 record, but ended the seaosn without the trophy. On the pathway there, I had arguably my best pitching season, with a four game no-walk streak, and an ERA that is just unheard of in slow-pitch softball. My batting average was a little weak, hovering around .400-.450 (which for our team is low), though I can say I led the team in doubles this year. But anyway, back to the playoffs. Historically, our team falls apart in the playoffs for some reason, but this time we actually got to the championship game in a double-elimination bracket without a loss... then we faced a team we'd beaten twice in regular season, and once in the playoffs. And we fell apart. Game one, we were missing our star 1st baseman, and the shuffling of the fielders led to over a dozen fielding errors, which carried over to weak bats and pathetic base running... and still we only lost 11-10. Then comes game two, and this time, we just can't hit at all when needed, as in 7 innings we left 15 runners on base, losing 9-7. Oh well, as they say, there's always next year. Redwoods - I didn't mention that my parents came out in July for a weekend visit. It was a great time, that was over too soon, but my Dad & Stef were able to meet the Outlaws, and the families got along great. The highlight of the trip for me was that we all went up for a nice little hike in the NorCal Redwoods. I'd seen them before on a short little jaunt, but this time we were able to walk the full path, and can I just say the sight of some of these trees is truly awe-inspiring. If you ever get out to the left coast, it's quite a sight. Stardust & Superbad - Short little blurbs, on two truly awesome movies. First, I've been looking forward to Superbad for months, and it did not disappoint at all. It's no secret that these high-school teen sex comedies are a favorite of mine, and this is up there with the best of them. Cera and Hill were simply the best comic duo in years. And the McLovin storyline with the cops had me cracking up the entire time. 4 out of 5 Stars. On a completely different movie vibe, Stardust is easily one of my favorite movies of the year, and seeing as I hated the book so much I couldn't finish reading it, that's saying something. I'm amazed the flick isn't doing better, because there wasn't a single thing wrong with it. It had a great story, very funny throughout, stellar cast, and just an overall great time. I think the only knock it gets is that the male lead is so unrecognizable, but I think it actually works in its favor to get that Everyman appeal. And trust me, Robert Di Nero steals the show... possibly the funniest performance of the year. 4.5 out of 5 Stars. Training - Probably the biggest reason I haven't felt like blogging has been my constant regional training for my company. We finished deploying our new system around May, but all summer I've been having to visit different parts of the country for additional on-the-spot training that the field has requested. It's really gotten to be a pain, because now it's just like the people don't *want* to learn the system. I mean, I understand that there are troubles with any new tool, but jeezus, it's almost like these people have never seen a hyperlink before... which sadly, is true in some cases. Thankfully, I think we're finally done, especially seeing as my last "visit" I couldn't' even hide my disdain for some people. I mean when you are helping the same people over and over again... ugh. Fingers crossed that's over. Umpiring - This summer, I took a more active role in the umpiring aspect of the softball league, umpiring more than a dozen games. At $25 a pop, it was a nice little side job, and since our league isn't technically supported by the ASA, I didn't need any accreditation. It was a great training ground for a rookie umpire, and though I blew some calls (biggest: for some reason I always thought a ball hit into the plate was a foul), overall it was really fun, and I'm definitely doing it again next year. Plus, it gave me the bug, and over the next year, I'm going to look into actually getting certified and maybe doing some real games outside of the work league. And since my dad has been doing basketball refereeing for the past few years, I guess you could say its in the blood. Vapid Sluts - I'm gonna keep this short, but holy hell, what the hell is going on with celebri-sluts these days? Was it like this when we were kids, and if so, did we think it was cool? I think Drew Barrymore needs to go to the houses of Lindsay, Britney, Paris, and Nicole, and just slap the living shit out of each of them. I think Joel McHale, Keith Olbermann and The Soup hit it on the head last weekend... this used to be funny, but now it's just sad. Walking - I never thought I'd be one of those people who considered walking half an hour a day to be viable exercise, but my daily excursion out of the office at lunch time has been a nice break from the monotony of cubicle work, and being able to go out with various coworkers each day, and pushing eachother to beat the previous day's time is great encouragement. Today CK and I pushed hard and broke the 20 minute barrier for around our campus by a full minute (it's about 1.2 miles, so it's not a bad jaunt). I'm ary to move my walking up to actual jogging just yet, but I'm getting there. Xkcd - I'm amazed I haven't mentioned this site before, but for those who love online cartoons, xkcd.com has some of the most simplistic but hilarious weekly comics out there. Some of the math/computer stuff goes over my head, but alot of the time, the majority of the laughs come not only from the picture itself, but the image tag that pops up when you hover your mouse over it. Alot of the time's, you really have to get some geek reference... for instance, this recent one, Nighttime Stories. If you've never heard of Orson Scott Card, that'll go right over your head... but trust me, it's on point and hilarious. Spend a few minutes... hours... just scrolling through, you won't regret it. Yoga - One of the activities I'm trying to incorporate into my workout routine. I've followed Yoga and Pilates DVDs, but the former just makes me feel better afterwards. Plus, I'm amazed sometimes just how far my body will stretch. I'll still do both in the future, but I honestly see myself getting into harder routines in regards to Yoga... as long as do it in the confines of my own home. I'm just not that cruel to subject the public to my noisy bowels. Zeros - Now, I'm not the best when it comes to grammar or spelling, but when Kris put that down in a Scrabble game of ours a few weeks ago, I immediately challenged, simply assuming the proper pluralization is 'zeroes', same way as Hero to Heroes. But no, I was wrong, and the original was correct. Actually, both are considered correct, but I don't know why. Sometimes I hate the English language. Anyway, our Scrabble games are going strong, with Kris beating me quite often now... looks like I need to start studying the three-letter words, now that we've both got most of the twos down. Labels: comics, diet, holz on the internets, iPhone, movies, review, TV posted by Holz | 9:45 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (5)Friday, March 02, 2007 Looking Into The Past So being Friday, and bored at work (leaving in a few), I happened to peruse some of my older entries, and what should I find but someone leaving a comment about a month ago on a post I put up over two years ago. Now, this wasn't the usual spam I find occasionally, this was an actual response... " You all are a bunch of sick freaks. I happened to come across this site when looking up a different baby site and could not believe what I was reading. The dead baby jokes are horrible and the Jesus jokes are worse, but God is just and I'm sure you all won't be laughing when you're burning in hell!" Now, this cracked me up for three reasons. First, it was an anonymous post, which, honestly, I can't stand, but I found just perfect for the comment. Second, they went out of their way to leave a comment on something I rarely look at anyway... the only reason I found this one was that I wanted a laugh and remembered the jokes made me chuckle. Third, and this is the main one, is how the commenter (I would never be so sexist as to say woman... but come on, this is obviously a chick) "came across this site when looking up a different baby site". Now, I know Teh Interwebs are a strange sea of mess... but how the hell does a blog post titled "Dead Babies are Funnier Than Sexist Jokes" scream to the surfer 'click me', when they are obviously a fundamentalist puritan? A Google search for the word 'baby' elicits over 500 MILLION hits. "Baby Jokes" comes back with 70,000+, never mention the fact the first three hits are for Dead Baby Jokes. Had this person really never heard one before? Oh well, at least now I know why I'll be going to hell. For the longest time I thought it was because of that shellfish I ate on Tuesday. Labels: blogging about blogging, holz on the internets posted by Holz | 4:23 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (1) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
||||
|
"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole." 100 Bullets #42 | |||||
