On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering
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| I Am John's Stomach Pains. On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering |
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007 Catches Contrivances Just Like Flies Damn, I've started putting this together 4 times now, and work just gets in the way... So, as you probably expected, I caught Spider-Man 3 opening weekend(with what appears to be everyone else in the country... over $150 million in the first three days... wow). Anyway, seeing as it's been a few weeks, expect this to contain spoilers for the flick. Let's just get to it... this is not a great movie. While I had problems with the second one, it holds up well upon repeat viewings. But here, with the the third outing, the spark generated by the cast and crew in the first two flicks is gone, and it's pretty clear they're tired of it. This is by far the weakest script of the films. The contrivances are hackneyed, even by comic book standards. First off, the arrival of the alien symbiote: pathetic. They set up a perfectly viable option in the second film, with John Jameson being an astronaut, that the introduction of something from space is quite easy. Instead, they have it literally drop out of the sky, scant yards away from Peter and his "impressive" spider-hammock. And yes, the "impressive" was sarcasm. Let's stick with the symbiote. At no point does it "talk" to Peter or Eddie. There's the first irk. There's really no indication of the "power" it supposedly brings. We're told it's supposedly makes Spider-Man more powerful... but how? It is easily taken off throughout the entire flick, which kinda defeats the symbiote aspect of it. Only at the end does it seem to realize, "oh, hey, may I don't want to be removed!" And while I loved that they kept the symbiote's weakness to sound waves, it would have been nice if there had been some clue earlier in the movie... instead, Peter just happens to stand right next to the alien's weakness... again, contrivances abound. Now, this isn't to say I didn't like the costume storyline. I think there were parts that really worked. The fact was it didn't really makes Peter more aggressive; it simply turned his natural tendencies into overdrive. Peter didn't become "cool" with the suit... he became a nerd of epic proportions. I happened to like that. It didn't make him smooth in any way... it just made him think he was smooth. You look at the "music" scene again, and those girls he's checking out aren't digging him at all, but he sure thinks they are. Additionally, I wasn't turned off by the dance scene. In fact, that was one of my favorite bits. It was so over-the-top nerdy, you had to appreciate it. Let's move onto the supporting cast for a second. The number one question I was trying to wrap my head around is why we're supposed to be rooting for Peter and Mary Jane. Sure, Parker can be a bit me-me-me sometimes, but really, he's trying to relate to the "celebrity" aspect of her life in the only way he knows how. Then at the first sign of trouble in their relationship, what does she do? Makes out with an ex-boyfriend. I will so though that my enjoyment of MJ was a bit tempered by the fact Kirsten Dunst has been coming off as such a bitch in interviews (i.e. "Oh, any future film will bomb if I'm not in it"). Trust me, of all of the actors people may have been anxious to see in this flick, Ms. Dunst you were at the bottom of the list... hell, even Elizabeth Banks as Betty Brant is more exciting... mreow. I loved the casting of Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy, and her appearances throughout the flick are damn enjoyable, if a bit sparse. Honestly, I'm of the opinion that Gwen should've been the damsel-in-distress at the end. First of all, by having MJ once again the target of villains, it should be pretty obvious to the public that she juuuust might have a connection to Spidey. I would've loved if they had brought Gwen in here, as Eddie had the prior relationship with her character already. Also, having MJ here, it cheapens Harry Osborn's reformation a bit. He really should be there to help his best friend, not because he cares for the kidnapped victim. Speaking of Harry, I think my friend Jay put it best as James Franco's acting choice for "amnesia" is "act retarded". "Oh wow, I have a huge house?". "Oh wow, my dad is dead?". "Oh wow, I have a girlfriend?". I've loved him in the first two, but feel he phoned it in a bit this time. Never mind the fact that Harry reforms in the span of 4 seconds after the butler, who has had, what, 3 years since Norman was killed, tells him the truth about his death. Way to go, Jeeves. Finally, the other two villains. I will admit the Sandman scenes were cool... but honestly, nothing more than I had seen in The Mummy movies. Honestly though, I was never excited about the villain anyway, as he's always been a fairly pathetic character in the books. Church does a good job with the role, but sadly I just never felt for him or his family. And that's Raimi's fault... the only reason I knew he was robbing banks and such because of his sick daughter was beause I had read about it in prior articles... not very well laid out. And so we come to Venom... which technically, he's never even called that in the flick, so how in the world is the mundane audience supposed to know what we geeks-in-the-know are talking about. It's fairly clear Raimi hates this character. He's the definition of Shoehorned In. Eddie Brock, I love, and the visuals of Venom are great... but he's on screen for possibly 2 minutes before not only being killed, but positively obliterated. This flick worked perfectly as an origin story for Venom, but instead he's been treated as an almost Bond villain lackey. For shame, Sam Raimi, for shame. Thank God BRUCE stepped forward and delivered yet another stellar cameo for you. Just comedy gold there. Now, I know I just bitched alot, but I am still gonna give it 3 outta 5 stars, mainly because the Spider-Man visuals are again top-notch, the flick's cameos once again highlight that it's Spider-Man's supporting cast that has made him such an endearing character for decades, and because the Gwen Stacy rescue scene (and pretty much all of Gwen in general) was awesome. There's plenty more to discuss... but damn, my rant meter is off the scale, and for a movie I actually did like, that's just wrong. Labels: bitching, comics, movies, review posted by Holz | 10:41 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (2)2 Comments:I know I liked the movie better than you did, but there were two scenes that I really HATED!! They were both because of poor camera work. The Peter/Harry fight scene in the beginning was too dark, "video-game" like and hard to follow. The second scene was the sand truck scene that almost made me throw up because I was so sick from the shaky camera filming. Yuck, those two scenes were awful!!
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I look at it much like I look at the new Star Wars. You had an (for all intents and purposes) unlimited budget, unlimited resources, unlimited opportunity, and this is the end result. You could have done whatever you wanted, and this is what you call the best. It was total garbage, and a total waste of time.
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole." 100 Bullets #42 | |||||
