On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering
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| I Am John's Stomach Pains. On The Precipice of Mediocrity, Teetering |
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Thursday, February 19, 2009 Worst Week As some of you know, Night Nurse and I have gone through a bit of a rough patch lately. In the span of 24 hours, we were both laid off from our jobs, which was a sobering experience, to say the least. We have a few sticks in the fire at the moment, but nothing's definite. The fact that Kris passed her nursing testing (with flying colors, as if there was any doubt!) certainly helps, but amazingly, the California medical field just is not hiring like the rest of the country. On top of the job shit we've had to deal with, my frakkin' Saturn thought now would be a good time for my transmission (or, part of it at least) to completely crap out on me, so we had to get that fixed. Thanks to everyone who's been sending us well-wishes, I know the times are tough for alot of people, but we appreciate it...
posted by Holz |
11:10 AM |
Rant & Rave, Bitches! (7)
Friday, December 12, 2008 Joe Quesada Hate: Take II It was a little less than a year ago where I gave a slight rant about JoeyQ's actions with Spider-man. I dropped the book (although technically I do have a stack of issues under my bed waiting to bed read if I ever get around to it). That was a rant on his writing/editorializing decisions. This one is in regards to how he is running his company on masse, and how it is signalling the death knell for the monthly comics medium, along with other heads of comic companies. I've been noticing lately my weekly haul has been pinching my wallet a bit more than usual. I thought it was because of events like Secret Invasion and Final Crisis, but the truth of the matter is that Marvel and DC have slowly been creeping the price of their biggest hits up to a base price of $3.99. This at a time when Marvel is running a 40% profit margin. Oh, but they say they are doing this to keep the struggling books at $2.99. And this doesn't mean the issues are getting longer... it simply means that to enjoy an 8-11 minute read, I now need to dish out 4 dollars. Oh, they may say that it's "32 PAGES!". But you know what those extra ten pages represents? Usually some shitty sketches, and a advertisements for the next big event. Keep in mind... my Netflix subscription costs about 4 times that a month. Endless DVD choices in a month = 4 comic books. All in all, this means I need to start cutting back *substantially* on my pulls from now on, which likely means I won't be picking up any of those struggling books. I read the big ones because they happen to get the best writers and artists. I (might* pick up a smaller book, even one with a hgher price tag, if it gets good heat or looks interesting. But if I don't have that extra disposable income lying around, I'll ignore it. The economics behind this decision simply boggles my mind.
posted by Holz |
2:41 PM |
Rant & Rave, Bitches! (10)
Monday, December 31, 2007 One More (Shitty) Day: Why Joe Q Sucks Ass Prepare for a comic book rant kiddies. For those who have no idea who Joe Quesada, Harry Osborn, or Mephisto are, this will make no sense to you. Sorry. Also, for those of you who do know the One More Day storyline, and have not yet read the conclusion, this will include spoilers, so best to stay away (or better yet, stay away from the book itself, it sucks that much). First off, lemme just lay the groundwork. I've been reading comic books since I was 11. I've been reading Spider-Man comics since I was 12. And aside from a year or two lull in college due to monetary constraints, Spider-Man has been the one constant in my comic book stack. Hell, I even stayed with him through the Clone Saga. But I have a feeling I'm finally done. Joe Quesada has been Editor-in-Chief at Marvel for quite a while now, and more often than not, I've liked his decisions in relation to Spidey. Getting JMS on Amazing was great, and aside from the stupid Gwen Stacey nailing Norman Osborn debacle, I've loved everything about it. I even thought the organic webshooters and identity reveal were intriguing as it opened up tons of new story angles. The other Spider-Man book were always great reads, cool ways up addressing the superhero aspect, as well as the supporting cast aspect. And with the character becoming more and more ingrained in the Marvel Universe as a whole through New Avengers and Civil War, it made reading the one-off storylines that much more enjoyable. But now, with a snap of the Devil's fingers (literally!), everything that we as readers have followed for 2 decades is wiped out. This isn't like the Clone Saga, where they tried to start from scratch, while still retaining the historical significance of previous canon, this is a slap/spit/shit in the face of all the long-term fans. And all in the name of "bringing in new readers". Yes, Peter Parker and Mary Jane make a deal with the devil to spare the life of his dying aunt who is approximately 129 years old (oooh, but she's fiesty!). And all the have to do is give up their "love/marriage" to Mephisto, as if it never happened. Hell, it's not even giving up one's soul. Oh, but since Peter and MJ's love is "that special love that only comes around once in a lifetime", it's special. And Spider-Man, who's probably been involved with Mephisto a dozen times, and knows deals with the devil always work out right, make it. Sure. So, surprise surprise, not only are they simply retconning the marriage (which I'll get to in a minute), they decide to do the same thing to every other big event from the Spider-man mythos. Harry Osborn sacrifices himself for friends in family in one of the classic Spidey-stories? Erased, he's just been in rehab! And we'll forget all the stories that occurred with his widow, his son, and his evil father who, oh yeah, is leading one of the "name" superteams in Marvel today. No storyline problems there. Howsabout that whole "Other" storyline *from last year* in which Spidey gets organic webshooters? Erased! Stories are so much better when there's a chance for Spidey to be swinging around and "Oh No, I run out of web fluid!" Yeah, that didn't get old 30 years ago... And then the identity reveal. While, sure, it was controversial, and did limit some stories, it also opened up tons more. And seeing as it impacted every single Marvel book for the past year, I cannot see how the Marvel Universe will be able to deal with it in any way that makes sense. But again, it's wiped out with possibly the easiest decisions by editorial, but the stupidest in terms of actual character. How hard is this to get through your head Quesada: Spider-Man would ever make a deal with the devil, and to say he woudl, and make it canon, make it change everything, is a disservice to the character, and his fans. Finally, the reason this storyline took place. JoeQ believes that the fans see the marriage of MJ and Peter as a negative, and the only logical conclusion for them being together is to "grow old and die". In his mind, it is impossible to garner new readers to the books if Peter and MJ are married, because that makes Spider-Man old an unrelatable. Nevermind the fact that the two have been married the entire time I've read the books, and I never had a problem with it. If the studies are right, and average comic fans age is around 30 anyway, they've been reading the books with them married, too, and never had a problem with it. On top of all that... JoeQ's bug-up-his-ass about having a single and young Spider-Man was already addressed upon the creation of Ultimate Spider-Man! Nearly 120 issues of that book, and Spider-Man is still only 16! While current answers as to just what changed in Amazing Spider-Man won't be answered until Brand New Day comes out, it's sure looking like there is now no difference between the 616 and Ultimate Spidey.... just crappy. I'm dropping all my Spider-Man book until this idiotic decision is retconned itself. Which if the forums at CBR is any indication will be in less than 6 months. Worst. Decision. Ever. posted by Holz | 12:52 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (6) Thursday, November 01, 2007 UPS: Unbelievable Piece of Shit For those not in the know, Night Nurse and I moved last weekend into our new digs. While we really liked our old place, the new place is a bit bigger, we have a two-car garage, an actual backyard, and it's about ten minutes closer to work for both of us (in fact, I think Kris can get to work in under 4 minutes now). Only problem is Kris's school is now a bit further away, and the Outlaws (and Chloe) no longer live within walking distance for us. The move went smoothly, as the Outlaws, along with Kris' brother and fiancee (aka Robin Hood and Blondberry) were kind enough to help us move all the big stuff over in two moving truck trips in the span of just 8 hours or so. Not a single thing broken, and in time to be able to catch both my Red Sox continue to dominate, and my Nittany Lions put on a game that showed that Ohio State sadly deserves the razzum-frazzum number one spot. Anyway, while the move has gone well, I did run into one major fucking annoyance this week, and that is the sheer incompetence of UPS. Now, conservatives says that when comparing government run programs to private enterprise, the private companies always come out smelling like their shit don't stink, but holy hell, did I get a lesson in the true meaning of "What Can Brown Do For You." Basic setup: on Friday, UPS attempted to drop a package off at our old address at noon. Naturally, we weren't there, and as it required a signature (for reasons I still can't grasp... it's just NutriSystem food) they couldn't drop it off. Said they'd try again Monday. Fine. Come Monday, I go to the UPS place at 5:15 to see if the package is there. No luck, they attempted to deliver again that day, and it was still on the truck. Again, I fully understand, I should have gone online and asked them to Will Call it over the weekend. Still, they have a half hour window from 7:15 - 7:45 later that night to pick it up. I say thanks, and head home. Cut to 7:05, and I head out to the place that's under 10 minutes away. Kris is in the process of making dinner, and I tell her I'll be back in 20 minutes, so shoot for the food to be ready then. I get there at exactly 7:15, but the doors are closed. Five minutes later, still closed. Eventually, it opens, and there's already a line formed. I'm about fourth in line, and by the time I'm helped it's 7:25, the time I originally shot for being home. Problem is, all the people in line had all their packages on a little gurney, and my large box is clearly not there. I've also noticed the guy handling the the transactions (the only guy there) is writing them down on a little legal pad. I eventually find out this is because the previous guy at the desk shut down the computer when he left. Amazingly, I am able to resist from asking the moron why he doesn't just push the bright little power button, as that would clearly be a solution to the problem. So, the guy picks up the phone and calls someone to track down where the box is. After a few minutes, it's clear that it's still on the truck, and was never pulled, even though it was clearly marked in the computer to be pulled. I text Night Nurse that I'll be late. A guy in the back goes to look in the truck for the package, while I wait with the proverbial thumb up my ass. Cut to, 10 minutes later. Call comes in. The package isn't on the truck. It's been sent into processing by mistake. They ask if I'd like to wait 10 or 15 minutes, see if they can find it. I sigh a big no, and just say I'll come back tomorrow, just put it on Will Call for me so I can get it on my way home. It is now 7:45, my food is cold, and I missed out on eating dinner with my girl. Scene: Next day, and I leave work early, yet again, to pick up the package before the doors close, as I want to head up to the old place to remove any remaining loose items and empty the fridge. I arrive, and surprise-surprise, the package isn't at Will Call. They check the computer, and whaddayaknow, they attempted to deliver the package yet again. It's still on the truck on the road. Would I like to come back later that night and pick it up? I sigh and shake my head no. "Well the good news is this was the third attempt, so it'll definitely be here tomorrow for you to pick up." Yay. So, the next day I eventually get the package, as I leave work early yet again. Huzzah! I just got a call from UPS. They tried delivering another package today. Would I like to set it up for Will Call? Does this cycle never end? Update: So like I said, we got a call saying they were trying to deliver a package yesterday, but as they could tell the house was completely empty, they were kind enough to call. I told them we'd moved, and they could just leave it with Will Call tonight. We show up at 7:15. No package on the gurney. The guy has someone check in the back. Nothing there. He has someone search in the computer, but seeing as we don't have the packing slip (remember, just a call), apparently it's impossible to track a package by, oh, I don't know, a last name, or an address. In the hopes of getting something that night, we actually call Papa Outlaw to run by the house, see if there is a sticker, and if he can give us the tracking number. Heads over there, but obviously no sticker. Thirty minutes later... yes, it is now past 7:45, there is still no package, no tracking of the package, and we just give up. We provide our new address, which is written down on paper, so I doubt that'll get in the computer correctly. I doubt I'll ever send anything by UPS ever again. Sadly, though, if I want to keep losing the weight, NS delivers only through UPS... posted by Holz | 11:22 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (5) Friday, June 29, 2007 Think Fast(ing) So about a year and half ago I went to the doctors, and afterward I was supposed to get some blood drawn for some tests. I kinda forgot about it. So after going to the docs earlier this week (in a Trip McNeely life-imitating art way, I've got an annoying foot fungus), I'm set to get some tests again... nothing serious, just the usual you know, but it means I have to fast for 12 hours. This includes no water, which honestly, I just find weird. Anyway, I was actually set to go in today around 11am, after drinking some water before bed. Blew off breakfast and coffee, and it was all set. So at 10:15am, what do I catch myself doing? Eating a handful of goddamn Wasabi Peas that are just sitting next to my desk, out of habit. Damnit! 45 minutes to go, and I completely zone out! *sigh* Well, I'm away from the office next week, so I got 2 weeks until my next chance... maybe I should tied a rope around my fingers or something. Christ, Fat Ass, how hard is it not to eat for a few hours? posted by Holz | 12:19 PM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (2) Tuesday, June 19, 2007 To Whom It May Concern To the person who called me before 6am this morning: I understand that it's possible to call a wrong number once. Listen, I'll even allow the second call that goes to voicemail, in which you clearly here my name mentioned as to the number in question. But to call a third time in less than two minutes is simply unacceptable. Fuck You. And I won't even get into the irony of the fact that you were calling from a headache-medicine company. Listen, I need my beauty sleep. You think my adonis-ness can survive on six hours alone? To the mother who allowed her daughters to pass in front of us at the movie theater a dozen times: I understand that Fantastic Four is a kids movie, and I should allow some type of leeway for children's behavior. And if your kids go out for food, then come back, that's fine. Even a bathroom break, I'd understand. But the next four times, running back and forth... what the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with your kids that they can't sit still for 10 fucking minutes? And to top it all off, you family of fucking degenerates have the gall to have conversations each time they return from whatever "adventure" they've been on? Fuck You. Wait at least a week before going to see the latest flick, and allow us to enjoy the flick in peace. The only reason I didn't bitch at you right then and there was that I was still enjoying the Taco Bell I'd brought in, and didn't want that to be an issue. To the critics and fanboys who are lambasting Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver: I really don't understand the hatred. The flick is just as much fun as the last one, which some of you remember I also thoroughly enjoyed. I think alot of people are just expecting high art from these things now, when it's just good old-fashioned popcorn fun. Johnny and Ben still have great chemistry, the one-liners and funny visual gags are still ever present (my biggest gripe with the Spider-Man flicks has been the absence of humor), and the basic premise of the FF, a family in constant cosmic crisis is perfect. The complaint I've been hearing is the petty bickering that's going on when they try to save the world... that's exactly how the comic book is, and has been for 40 years! Quit your whining, and enjoy the introduction of one of the coolest Marvel characters to the masses. Now all we need is Squirrel Girl to make an appearance and I'll be happy. 4 out of 5 Stars (but you can wait for DVD). To Judd Apatow: Thank you. Thank you for just being you. You haven't disappointed me yet. Knocked Up was just as good as the people who caught advanced viewings have been saying for months. Great dialogue, that didn't feel at all Tarantino-forced. Great cast, with Seth Rogan moving up in the race as a suitable Tom Hanks replacement. Katherine Heigl is still a favorite of mine, and she even delivered the funny. BTW, if you haven't caught the special deleted scenes found on YouTube yet (Dr. Kuni, Brokeback), you gotta. Solid 4 out of 5. Can't wait for Rogan's Superbad. Labels: bitching, movies, review posted by Holz | 11:37 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (5)Tuesday, May 22, 2007 Catches Contrivances Just Like Flies Damn, I've started putting this together 4 times now, and work just gets in the way... So, as you probably expected, I caught Spider-Man 3 opening weekend(with what appears to be everyone else in the country... over $150 million in the first three days... wow). Anyway, seeing as it's been a few weeks, expect this to contain spoilers for the flick. Let's just get to it... this is not a great movie. While I had problems with the second one, it holds up well upon repeat viewings. But here, with the the third outing, the spark generated by the cast and crew in the first two flicks is gone, and it's pretty clear they're tired of it. This is by far the weakest script of the films. The contrivances are hackneyed, even by comic book standards. First off, the arrival of the alien symbiote: pathetic. They set up a perfectly viable option in the second film, with John Jameson being an astronaut, that the introduction of something from space is quite easy. Instead, they have it literally drop out of the sky, scant yards away from Peter and his "impressive" spider-hammock. And yes, the "impressive" was sarcasm. Let's stick with the symbiote. At no point does it "talk" to Peter or Eddie. There's the first irk. There's really no indication of the "power" it supposedly brings. We're told it's supposedly makes Spider-Man more powerful... but how? It is easily taken off throughout the entire flick, which kinda defeats the symbiote aspect of it. Only at the end does it seem to realize, "oh, hey, may I don't want to be removed!" And while I loved that they kept the symbiote's weakness to sound waves, it would have been nice if there had been some clue earlier in the movie... instead, Peter just happens to stand right next to the alien's weakness... again, contrivances abound. Now, this isn't to say I didn't like the costume storyline. I think there were parts that really worked. The fact was it didn't really makes Peter more aggressive; it simply turned his natural tendencies into overdrive. Peter didn't become "cool" with the suit... he became a nerd of epic proportions. I happened to like that. It didn't make him smooth in any way... it just made him think he was smooth. You look at the "music" scene again, and those girls he's checking out aren't digging him at all, but he sure thinks they are. Additionally, I wasn't turned off by the dance scene. In fact, that was one of my favorite bits. It was so over-the-top nerdy, you had to appreciate it. Let's move onto the supporting cast for a second. The number one question I was trying to wrap my head around is why we're supposed to be rooting for Peter and Mary Jane. Sure, Parker can be a bit me-me-me sometimes, but really, he's trying to relate to the "celebrity" aspect of her life in the only way he knows how. Then at the first sign of trouble in their relationship, what does she do? Makes out with an ex-boyfriend. I will so though that my enjoyment of MJ was a bit tempered by the fact Kirsten Dunst has been coming off as such a bitch in interviews (i.e. "Oh, any future film will bomb if I'm not in it"). Trust me, of all of the actors people may have been anxious to see in this flick, Ms. Dunst you were at the bottom of the list... hell, even Elizabeth Banks as Betty Brant is more exciting... mreow. I loved the casting of Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy, and her appearances throughout the flick are damn enjoyable, if a bit sparse. Honestly, I'm of the opinion that Gwen should've been the damsel-in-distress at the end. First of all, by having MJ once again the target of villains, it should be pretty obvious to the public that she juuuust might have a connection to Spidey. I would've loved if they had brought Gwen in here, as Eddie had the prior relationship with her character already. Also, having MJ here, it cheapens Harry Osborn's reformation a bit. He really should be there to help his best friend, not because he cares for the kidnapped victim. Speaking of Harry, I think my friend Jay put it best as James Franco's acting choice for "amnesia" is "act retarded". "Oh wow, I have a huge house?". "Oh wow, my dad is dead?". "Oh wow, I have a girlfriend?". I've loved him in the first two, but feel he phoned it in a bit this time. Never mind the fact that Harry reforms in the span of 4 seconds after the butler, who has had, what, 3 years since Norman was killed, tells him the truth about his death. Way to go, Jeeves. Finally, the other two villains. I will admit the Sandman scenes were cool... but honestly, nothing more than I had seen in The Mummy movies. Honestly though, I was never excited about the villain anyway, as he's always been a fairly pathetic character in the books. Church does a good job with the role, but sadly I just never felt for him or his family. And that's Raimi's fault... the only reason I knew he was robbing banks and such because of his sick daughter was beause I had read about it in prior articles... not very well laid out. And so we come to Venom... which technically, he's never even called that in the flick, so how in the world is the mundane audience supposed to know what we geeks-in-the-know are talking about. It's fairly clear Raimi hates this character. He's the definition of Shoehorned In. Eddie Brock, I love, and the visuals of Venom are great... but he's on screen for possibly 2 minutes before not only being killed, but positively obliterated. This flick worked perfectly as an origin story for Venom, but instead he's been treated as an almost Bond villain lackey. For shame, Sam Raimi, for shame. Thank God BRUCE stepped forward and delivered yet another stellar cameo for you. Just comedy gold there. Now, I know I just bitched alot, but I am still gonna give it 3 outta 5 stars, mainly because the Spider-Man visuals are again top-notch, the flick's cameos once again highlight that it's Spider-Man's supporting cast that has made him such an endearing character for decades, and because the Gwen Stacy rescue scene (and pretty much all of Gwen in general) was awesome. There's plenty more to discuss... but damn, my rant meter is off the scale, and for a movie I actually did like, that's just wrong. Labels: bitching, comics, movies, review posted by Holz | 10:41 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (2)Tuesday, April 17, 2007 Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig So it's finally over, my treks across the country, training field office users on this new underwriting platform is finally over. And not a moment too soon. I was going a bit crazy being away from home for so long, and I'm sure Kris was feeling the same way. ...sigh... no joke, 2 minutes after typing that above sentence, I've found out that we're not quite done yet. Apparently some in the field are struggling and we need to go back out again and help out... grr... Anyway, it's still nice to have a few weeks of home-peace. My trips weren't that bad, of course. I was able to get a quick visit with the folks and friends when I went to New Jersey (sorry I missed the kiddies, Stan!), my mileage reimbursement for two weeks driving to the Walnut Creek office is helping to pay for next week's Vegas trip (as long as my pesky Service Engine Soon light isn't serious), and while in Irvine, I was able to catch up with Kat & David, and was able to check out their swanky house... very sweet, you two. Thanks again for dinner! Caught two more movies in the past couple of weeks: Grindhouse - Just lvoed it, although I wish Lushy and Meli had been there with Kris & I. Of the two flicks, I found Planet Terror much more fun than Deathproof, mainly because (surprisingly) I've never been a fan of Taratino's dialogue-heavy diner scenes. They just don't work for me. Still, both of 'em kicked ass overall, an the fake previews were awesome. I want to see Machete, like now. 4 out of 5 Stars (split along 4.5 for PT, 3 for DP) Perfect Stranger - Night Nurse and I caught this with her folks, and I can't really recommend it. Bruce Willis isn't in it nearly enough, and I'm sorry, I've never found Halle Berry to be a very good actress... serious scene chewer. But the real problem with the movie is the ending, which isn't so much as a surprise, but an annoyance. Won't get into it much, but the problem is in a mystery, the audience and the writer have an unspoken agreement to not pull the "and it was all magic" or "the killer appeared on screen for 7 seconds in the first act" card. Neither is pulled here, but the resolution is cheap, and not shocking. Plus, no f'n nudity! 1.5 out of 5 Stars Labels: bitching, movies, review, travel posted by Holz | 10:13 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (1)Friday, February 09, 2007 Stupid New Blogger So for some reason I decided to update to the new blogger format, and as expected, I'm facing problems already. My archives appear to be gone (at least the links are), and amazingly I can't find any issue in their FAQs to address the problem. Here's hoping I can fix it soon... ...and the location of the label area is kinda stupid... hopefully that can be fixed easily, too. ...okay, I fixed my archives, and I actually really like the drop-down option. Now if I can just figure out how to move the "labels" somewhere else (without updating to the new blogger layouts), I'll be golden. ...*sigh* It looks like I'm going to have to switch to the New Layout system now. Oh well. Hopefully I'll be able to make my new layout look exactly like my current one... I've had this layout for close to 5 years, and I really like it... but I suppose everything must change... Labels: bitching posted by Holz | 9:15 AM | Rant & Rave, Bitches! (1) |
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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole." 100 Bullets #42 | |||||
